


Good Evening, Gotham!

by Penguina



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anniversary, Batjokes, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, These dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Joker had given up his entire criminal life just so that he can be with Bruce Wayne. But after 7 years, Bruce has the misfortune of forgetting about their anniversary. That is certainly enough to make any clown sad.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 10
Kudos: 140





	Good Evening, Gotham!

**Author's Note:**

> I realized I love Batjokes but haven't posted anything about that ship here. So... I found this old thing I'd started last year, and thought I might as well post it as a one-shot :)  
> Originally it was supposed to be a multiple chapter story in which Joker relapses back to crime just to get Bruce's attention and spice things up between them a little bit. But I doubt I'd have the chance to write all that, so here's this piece of silliness instead. Enjoy!

Bruce ran his fingers through his sweaty face, a tired groan escaped through his half-parted lips. His eyes were closing on their own, he wasn’t as young as he used to be and it sometimes showed. There were times when a few sleepless nights of crime fighting were nothing out of the ordinary for him. Now… Well, now he needed to rest. He let the screen of the bat-computer dim into darkness and tried to push himself off the chair to go up to the manor, and sleep in his bed this time. In  _ their  _ bed. J must be really pissed, not getting Bruce’s attention for so long. 

He sighed. He was so tired he couldn’t make himself move. He just stayed in the chair, resting his head near the controls of the bat-computer, just for a moment, just so he could get some of his energy back. His eyes closed on their own volition. When he woke up, it was already the next day. He had spent the night in the bat-cave.  _ Wonderful _ . 

~*~ 

“Alfred. Anything for me?” Bruce asked. He had taken a shower, cleaned himself up, dressed more appropriately for a normal human being. He was Bruce Wayne once again. 

“Not really, sir,” Alfred replied in his usual fashion. 

“Not even… I mean… Did he--?” Bruce hated how unsure and awkward he sounded. 

“Oh,  _ he  _ is what you would call  _ ‘pissed’ _ , sir,” Alfred said, sensing where this was going. “But I assumed you already anticipated that.” 

Bruce sighed. “Yeah.” 

This was not going to be easy then. These last weeks Bruce had either been busy or too exhausted to stay awake. One didn’t need to be the world’s greatest detective to know that J would definitely not like that. 

“Where is he now?” he asked Alfred, trying to push away all feelings of unease from his mind. 

“He left early in the morning, sir. He did not say anything much, but he looked like he hadn’t slept all night, and he seemed quite wrathful.” 

“Oh, boy.” 

“Would you want breakfast, sir? I’ve prepared--” 

“No, thank you, Alfred. I think I’m gonna be busy today.” 

“Too busy to eat breakfast, sir? Not that I am surprised,” Alfred uttered unimpressed. His arched eyebrow and sarcastic tone were enough to make Bruce feel like a kid again. 

“Don’t you be mad at me too now,” Bruce said half-amused, half-pleading. 

Alfred sighed but did little less to express any frustration. “You’re a grown man, Master Bruce. I can hardly force you to not act like an idiot.” 

Bruce ignored the remark and headed to his study, closing the door behind. He then turned on the TV to watch the recording of J’s late show -- he never missed an episode -- and relaxed onto the couch to properly enjoy it. It’s been 7 years since J’s official release from Arkham. J was a sane member of society now. Bruce’s partner, and a successful TV show host. Who would’ve guessed that back when they were too busy jumping on roofs, fighting and secretly pine after one another. J was a pretty amazing show host too. He was funny, charismatic, charming, he had this way of twisting everything the way he wanted. He had the audience and his guests in the palm of his hand. He even got away with making a few quite inappropriate jokes, considering his history as one of the most dangerous criminals Gotham had ever known. J was a showman at heart and he thrived on the attention, unlike Bruce who hated his own act. If it were up to Bruce, he’d spend his days working in the bat-cave and his nights fighting criminals as Batman. He’d dispose of Wayne’s persona altogether and keep himself isolated from the outside world as much as were humanly possible. And most of all, he’d spend every free time he had in J’s arms. If only he were able to express those feelings to J’s face properly. Instead he only mumbled and stuttered every time he tried to speak to J about love. Bruce was a man of action, not words. Talking about his feelings had never been his strong suit. He only hoped J knew that. 

_ “Good evening, Gotham!”  _ J greeted from the TV, a wide grin on his face as he pranced on stage in his purple suit.  _ “I’m sure you’re so glad to see me on your screens without having to hear me talk about hostages, right? Hahaha, no worries, no worries. Bombs? I don’t touch the stuff! I’ve entered my 12 step program and I’m sober now, hahaaaa! As I like to say, what makes our show so special is that other show hosts are all alcoholics or drug addicts, me, on the other hand? Why, my addiction used to be knives and explosions! Ha! You’re all rooting for me to not have a relapse! Ha-haaa!”  _

He winked at the camera and Bruce paused the recording, reaching out for his phone and dialing J’s number. It went straight to voicemail. He tried to reach his partner several more times but unsuccessfully. Finally he had to settle for leaving a message. 

“J, I’m sorry I didn’t come up to bed last night. I was exhausted and I passed out in the-- at work. Can we talk? Please? I-- I miss you,” he lingered like that a few more moments, unsure of what else to say, and then right before the time was up he managed a quick, “Bye.” 

Well. That was that. Hopefully J would show understanding and wouldn't blow this out of proportion. 

~*~ 

Joker was pulling out his green hair, his entire body shaking with frustration. “He didn’t even send me a text to wish me a happy anniversary! I mean, what is that! Are we  _ that  _ couple now? The couple that forgets their anniversary!” 

“You’ve missed a few of my birthdays, actually…” Harley interjected but Joker was too far gone in his own drama to pay attention to her. 

“I gave up my life for him! I gave up my career (even though I  _ was  _ doing pretty well! I mean, I was a tough act to follow!), I became the laughing stock of the underworld, prancing about with Bruce fucking Wayne of all people! I spent  _ all those years _ in  _ therapy  _ so that the public doesn’t freak out about it,  _ and  _ I still take my pills regularly, like I’m supposed to,  _ all  _ for  _ him _ ! And what do I get in return? I’m asking you, Harl, what do I get in return!” He was pacing nervously, making a hole in Harley’s jolly carpet and ignoring the few blood stains on it. “A forgotten anniversary…” 

He nearly sobbed the last word. Harley, being one of the two people who had actually seen Joker cry, put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“You’re putting too much thought into this, Puddin,” she said. “I’m sure your blueeyed boy has a perfectly good reason to not return home last night. You should try to relax and let him explain--” 

“Ha!” Joker cut her off, waving his arms about frantically. “I don’t need him to explain anything, I  _ know  _ exactly what is going on! I’m not interesting enough for him anymore!” 

Harley sighed. “Here we go again…” she muttered but she knew he wasn’t listening anymore. 

“Remember the good old days, Harl?” Joker lamented with a far away look on his face. “The happy days when he used to chase me around? Turning all of Gotham upside down just for me.” He sighed, flopping down on Harley’s couch. “He was as obsessed with me back then as I still am with him. But now? Now, I’m alone in my obsession. Alone in my love. He’s always busy, chasing other, much more mediocre criminals. He’s forgotten the thrill  _ I _ could give him.” = 

Harley settled close to him, hands on his shoulders, massaging him gently like she used to all those years ago. 

“You’re so tense, Puddin’. You need to relax,” she said, her hands getting more adventurous with each touch. 

Joker went rigid under her ministrations until finally he pulled away, giving her a stern and a little impatient look. “When will you stop trying to seduce me, Harls?” 

She gave him a sweet smile. “Well, you can’t blame a girl for tryin’.” 

He groaned, rubbing his temples with his long pale fingers. “Just because I’m angry at Bruce, doesn’t mean I’d cheat on him.” 

“Pity,” Harley sighed, not particularly upset about it.

“Don’t make me regret I’m still friends with you,” he warned. “I haven’t even told Bruce about this. He has  _ no _ idea we’re still in touch. It’s the only secret I have from him, actually.” 

“Oh, he knows,” Harley said, checking her nails. “He visits every time after you do just to make sure I haven’t done anything to you.” 

Joker allowed a fond smile to grace his face. “He does?” Then he quickly shrugged it off. “But he doesn’t  _ officially  _ know. I mean, we never talk about that. So he doesn;t know…” 

“What?” 

“Ugh, never mind. We’re friends, Harley, so don’t screw this up!” 

She chuckled. “Oh, I’m not the one who usually screws things up, Puddin’.” 

Joker nodded. “That’s right. Bruce is.” 

Harley chuckled fondly to herself but didn’t disillusion Joker from his assumptions. He was already far too gone with his own drama. As usual. She was used to her best friend by now. 

He spent the rest of his day at Harley’s place, even though at some point he had to leave when Ivy returned. Ivy openly disliked him, even after his ‘reform’, and he really didn’t want to have to deal with a crazy plant lady now too, on top of his other problems. It was enough to know Harley was happy with Ivy. The rest was really none of J’s business. 

Reluctantly, he said his goodbyes and headed back to the Wayne manor. He was almost 100% certain that Bruce would not be there and he’d have to spend yet another lonely night, waiting for his beloved bat. The mere thought was driving him crazy, so he palmed the little bottle of pills in his pocket just to be on the safe side. They were there, alright, ready for him to take them in case he felt something unwelcome stirring inside him. He didn’t want to relapse back to his old ways after all. He still hadn’t completely given up on his life with Bruce. Although perhaps it might be a good idea to do something to spice things up between them. He had to get Bruce’s love and passion back. Maybe a heist? Or a good old-fashioned poisoning of the water supply? Ooh, or why not something with two boats? Yes, there were still a couple of creative ideas in his head. Bruce had to see that there was still a lot more fun left in Joker! And if Batman was only interested in criminals, well, Joker could do that for him! Joker could do  _ everything  _ and  _ anything  _ for his beloved bat! For his beloved Bruce… 

As he approached the mansion, he heard a loud explosion-like sound. For a moment he was terrified that some idiot had blown up the manor with Bruce in it! But then he realized those weren’t explosions at all; they were fireworks. 

_ I love you, J! Please forgive me!  _

_ Happy anniversary,  _

_ B _

A wide grin spread across Joker’s face. He squealed and nearly choked with excitement and glee. 

“He remembered…” 

Not wasting another second, J ran towards the mansion. He could bet his bottom dollar that Bruce was waiting for him in the bedroom, and despite everything, J knew well that he definitely lacked the patience to keep Bruce waiting for too long. 


End file.
